My first pop-culture encounter with tantric sex was—like so many other “edgy” sexual practices, from threesomes to fetishes—during a “SATC” episode. The women attend a tantric sex workshop in which a white-haired woman massages her elderly, blissed-out husband, who, after some buildup, ejaculates into the air and … onto Miranda. Educational? Sure. An accurate depiction of tantra? Not so much, according to my sources.
The word Tantra means “to manifest, to expand, to show and to weave”. In this context, sex is thought to expand consciousness and to weave together the polarities of male (represented by the Hindu god, Shiva), and female (embodied by the Hindu goddess, Shakti), into a harmonious whole.
Although Tantra has long been practised in many eastern cultures, it is just beginning to flourish in the west. Born in India more than 6,000 years ago, tantra emerged as a rebellion against organised religion, which held that sexuality should be rejected in order to reach enlightenment. In its most authentic form, tantra prohibits male ejaculation as the sole objective of the man’s sexual experience. It believes that preoccupation with ejaculation (which many of us men are surely guilty of) wastes sexual energy and robs the woman of her potential for multiple orgasms. However, women may ( and are encouraged to) ejaculate through tantric techniques.
Couples need not adopt the Tantric pantheon in order to benefit from the sexual wisdom of this ancient art. Tantric sexual practices teach us to prolong the act of making love and to utilize potent orgasmic energies more effectively.
How is tantric sex done? The following will show how sex for both can be more than average, and less than selfish.