“It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover.” —Marge Piercy
Last weekend, I was talking to a group of women about sexual positions that worked well for them, and they all agreed—any position can work if you’re with a man who knows what he’s doing. I wish all men knew this!
As I’ve said before, most women find it difficult to achieve orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone. But men, it’s not impossible! Once you learn how a woman’s body works—and every woman’s body is different—you can try a few techniques to increase her pleasure and help her have an incredible orgasm. Although you can try hundreds of exotic positions, master the four basic positions, and then try a few variations.
Although the missionary position is the most common sexual position, it’s also the most difficult way for a woman to have an orgasm during sex. But it can be done! One of the keys to bringing your partner to orgasm is grinding the base of your pubic bone against her clitoris—it’s all a matter of position.
Have your partner lie back on the bed and place a pillow or two under her bottom so that her pelvic area is arched. After fully penetrating her, move the base of your pubic bone so that it’s resting on her clitoris, and start moving in a firm, circular motion. The vaginal penetration combined with your clitoral stimulation should drive her wild.
Try a few variations on the basic missionary position, such as moving her feet onto her shoulders so you have more room to maneuver. You can kneel above her at a slight angle, putting her legs over your shoulders and holding her body slightly off the bed. Another approach to missionary is to have your partner hold her legs tightly closed during intercourse, which directs all the thrusting to her clitoris.
If your partner is amenable, add a small clitoral vibrator to your lovemaking. While penetrating her, use the vibrator to stimulate her clitoris and the area around it.
One of the best positions for female orgasm is for her to get on top. She’ll have more control of her body and be able to use your anatomy to its best advantage—hers.
Lie on the bed with a pillow under your bottom so you’ll provide her a good arch for her grinding motions. Guide her into place so that she’s straddling you, and then lower her onto your penis. Resist the urge to thrust. Instead, use your thumb or finger to stimulate her clitoris, matching the intensity of your touch with the intensity of her movements.
For a little variation, suggest she squat over you before lowering herself onto your penis. Hold her hands to give her more support. With your penis inside her, she will move her body up and down using her legs. The tightened muscles in her pelvic area mean you’ll have a more pleasing sensation, plus the up-and-down motion will provide her with more effective clitoral stimulation.
You can also try a position popularly known as “reverse cowgirl.” It’s basically the same as regular the woman on top position, but instead of facing you, she’s riding backward, facing your feet. Raise your knees so she can use them to aid her thrusting motion. This position is incredibly erotic!
Side-by-side takes a little practice at first, but it’s well worth the effort. Many couples find this position very intimate, providing them closer contact with each other and positioning their bodies in a way that increases her ability to climax.
With your feet against the headboard, footboard or wall, lie on your sides, facing one another. Get as close as possible, and gently lift her leg above yours before you slip inside her. Have her wrap her leg around your body to give you more leverage during penetration. Use the headboard, footboard or wall as a brace when things get really hot. Work together to find a rhythm you both like.
A variation on the side-by-side position allows for greater clitoral contact. Lie on your sides in the same position as before, but have her face away from you. From behind, penetrate her (you may need to lift her leg). Once you are able to begin thrusting, lean her back against you so that she’s almost on top of you. Find a rhythm you both enjoy, and then use your hand or a vibrator to stimulate her clitoris.
Rear Vaginal Entry
Because it allows you to grind your pubic bone into her G-spot while you manually stimulate her clitoris, the rear-entry position is one of the best positions to use to help a woman reach orgasm.
Have your partner get in the “doggy style” position on the bed, and stand behind her. Ask her to lower her top half onto a pillow and raise up her bottom so that her back is arched. When she’s comfortable, you can commence with penetration. Once you’re in position, you can try having her hold her legs tightly together, which increases the pressure against her G-spot and clitoris.
Specail Position: Yab Yum
This is a tantric sex position, Originally a position to unity between man and woman, the Yab-Yum posture has evolved to integrate meditation, yoga, and sexuality. Male sits comfortably, either upright with folded legs or on a chair or bed edge. Female sit on his lap, wrapping legs around his waist and arms around shoulders before penetration. For added satisfaction, allow female’s legs to hang loosely if both seated on a chair. Encourage a slow, rocking motion initiated by your partner, enhancing the overall experience. Now try some different moves based on this position…remember, don’t rush, take it slow…
Never forget that every woman’s body is different, as is every lovemaking session. If something isn’t working, try a different position or variation. Once you find what pleases you both, mind-blowing orgasms are soon to follow.